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Young adults appear to be turning to oral sex as a
way to remain sexually “pure” during the expanding period before marriage,
according to sexual health experts.
Dan McGee, director of Baptist General Convention of Texas Counseling
and Psychological Services, and Joe McIlhaney, director of the Medical
Institute for Sexual Health, indicate oral sex is becoming an increasingly
popular alternative to vaginal sex, especially among teens.
Younger generations are having to fight their sexual desires longer
because they are marrying later, McGee noted. While it was the norm for
earlier generations to marry during a person’s early 20s, young people are
now commonly getting married in their late 20s or early 30s.
Observers also argue the social stigma that was associated with oral
sex has lessened. Though McGee remembers his generation viewing the act as
perverted or primarily practiced by homosexuals, younger generations view
it as acceptable behavior in the wake of the Bill Clinton-Monica Lewinsky
affair.
What little hard evidence of this phenomenon there is comes from a
University of Wisconsin study that reported 78 percent of new genital
herpes cases could be linked to a virus that causes cold sores.
Even more striking, is that younger generations seem to believe oral
sex is not sex. A recent Northern Kentucky University study revealed 61
percent of those who made sexual abstinence pledges broke them. Of the 39
percent who said they kept their promise, more than half indicated they
had engaged in oral sex.
Rather than narrowing the definition of sex, young adults need to
broaden it greatly, warns McGee, a clinical sexologist. Not only is oral
sex sex, but so is any sexual touching with the intention of arousal.
“Just because the president of the United States says it isn’t sex
doesn’t make it so,” he said.
McIlhaney echoed McGee’s thoughts, saying sexual education needs
explain that sex is a larger realm than vaginal intercourse.
“Young people need to be taught physical contact for the purpose of
arousal is sexual intercourse,” he stated.
McGee outlines three stages in the human sexual response cycle. The
first, desire, is triggers the second step, biological sexual arousal. Up
to these points, individuals have some power over their sexual
actions.
People can control their actions largely by avoiding situations where
they will be sexually tempted, McGee noted. But adolescents are
particularly susceptible to moving on to arousal because of their hormones
are highly sensitive, and they feel the societal push toward sex.
“You can’t help it if you have interest in sex or desire for sex. We do
have control over how much we let ourselves go into arousal,” he said.
Though individuals can fight against acting on their desires, once the
orgasmic reflex is triggered, control is no longer an option, McGee
continued. That God-given design can be beautiful inside marriage, but can
be destructive outside it.
McIlhaney noted a relationship that includes oral sex can be damaging
to a young adult’s self-esteem. The individual can feel used or
unloved.
Both experts pointed out the numerous sexually transmitted diseases
that can be contracted through oral sex. The earlier young adults have
their first sexual interaction, the more likely they are contract
diseases.
Young people often make the incorrect and dangerous assumption that
they cannot get diseases through oral sex, they said.
“Every risk you have except pregnancy is still there with oral sex,”
McGee said.
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